Sorry to everyone who came out to see us at Ichthus Festival! In a small city south of Lexington, KY a thunderstorm hit Ichthus Festival with winds over 50 mph. “I was standing in the merch tent and all of a sudden I heard a metal crash, a 30 ft. pole fell onto a merch table and almost hit some people. People started yelling and running, it got kind of chaotic,” said a kilted spectator. “People were yelling to evacuate the tent, lightning was crashing down a hundred feet away, it was a scary moment. We had our merch set up and our cash box open. With everyone running wild and the wind blowing crazy, my first reaction was to secure our merch table. So I yelled ‘Grab the money!’ and got my bagpipes and ran for the van,” said the same kilted spectator.

He said that running to the van was like heading into a sideways tornado filled with little pebbles of ice pricking him everywhere, especially in his face and kilt. “I’m just glad I didn’t go commando.” All the bands at Ichthus Festival were hoping they would be able to play after the storm, but the military had to hold off the grounds and would not let any civilians in, especially any bands. Flatfoot 56 made many attempts to sneak in and take control of the stage. They claim to have tried catapulting themselves, tunneling under the fence, disguising themselves as bushes, cats, and Ronald McDonald, but they were thwarted every single time. “Every attempt was ingenious and would have worked if it hadn’t been for that meddling rain,” claimed Flatfoot 56.

All in all, it was disappointing for everyone. Flatfoot 56 apologizes to everyone who came out to see them. They assured us that they’re developing strategic plans to capture the stage. “We will be victorious and will have our concert, and all will be glorious,” claims Flatfoot 56.